If there were days where u could took back and change, itd be today.
U see the problem with me is i tend to be an arse at times.
I know i wasnt suppose to but i still did.
I know she didnt deserve it but i still did.
Fcuk me. yeah.

True enough.
So what if im effing busy with exam revision and work.
I do not have the right to be insensitive and selfish.
I do not have the right to think only of myself.
So what if this is the 1st time im coping with so many things.
My dearest, i noe i havent been goodie to you.
Yeah, being easily frustrated and fed up like that.
Fcuk u shudnt be treated in such a way.

And they say its all about balance.
I goota start being a yes man again.
So this is an public apology to u.
i admit.
I havent been a good bf to you.
Im sorry.
And thats all i can say.
I cant turn back time.
What i can do is change.

Till then.
Damn taste of ink.

OK.

So my lappie died on me.
nt the lappie.
The ac adaptor
Which means i need to find a new ac adapter.
freakin benq.

Just when imabout to transit to another new laptop soon, this just had to happen.
Well, i guess i need to buy an adaptor, but an external hard drive or borrow honey's, save all necesarry files. clear out the old laptop. and prepare to scrap it it. yeah. all by 2009.

now im using my brothers laptop.
Thank goodness he's not selfish.
To tink of it, he's never selfish .

well, i got my ipod finaly werking.
itunes bla2.
so finally crossing over abit to the mac side.
im amazed by the quality in terms of sound and design of apple.
its far different.
Im a sony user.
well audio wise, apple rocks. Sony is trailing behind slighty.
some say its the other way round.

And i got my nikeplus shoes and sensors!
Wohhho!
i cant wait to try it on soon.
Now im waiting for my phiten to arrive via air mail.

i guess most of the shoping i did this month wAS online.
Things left todo
1) complete sch assignment
2)run and keep fit coz i got just bought 10lbs of protein
3) revise coz exams is less than a month away
4)a report on the attachment im doing
5) a physical revision on sum skills at werk coz assesment is coming
6) transit of data from old lappie

as soon as ur todo lists ends each week/month,
a new cycle develops.


yeah..
i guess people are busy in their own way.
Life change eversince i start studies.
yes, im sacrificing alot of time, effort, rest , bla bla bla.
it aint easy though its part time.
especially if u hava full time job thats physically demamnding.
Well, i just hpe the exams go well.
8 months to graduation.

If things go well and degree shall be the next step.
i guess being bz is all about balance.
i mean u gota have time to do ur own tings.
frm totally slack and dun giv shit to anything to eating whatever u want and spending a day alone hiking or running.

U gota reward urself with things befor u go mad and get sick.
maybe its just a matter ot getting use to.
Its hard honestly.
I cant explain it.
people define hardship differently u know.

I mean u got ur parents, siblings, family isssues etc.
BGR issues and commitment.
School commitment.
Work commitment.
and ur personal goals.

i tell u this.
its hard.
im not saying its imposibble.
i guess it justs takes time.

till then, i shall blog again when i feel like it.
love u dear.
tinking of u always inspite of the other obligations.

i nid to relax.

i want a day to be my day.


things are chaotic.

and i get all so stressed up before i sleep.


coz deres so many things todo and worry about.

And so he felt like puking.
yeah.
tat was it.
He finally reach his threshold limit.
Time to stop.
Tats enough brain juice for a 20 hr day.

He knew that he was merely a production of failure.
Failure in studies, failure in relationships, failure at work, failure in fitness...bla bla bla. U name it. He knew tat taste. That sweet bitter symphony tat lingers at the back of his throat.

Who could blame him now.
Trying to pick everything up.
He got it all.
And he's trying all he can.
He tries to ace his grades, make the family happy, nourish his partner, getting a gd appraisal at work and breaking a sweat like never before.
Amazingly, it all happen in a single day.
U see,
he is a man of high aspirations.
And sometimes he doesnt know his limits till he breaks down.
It wasnt just the physical fitness, his mind is constantly engaging in an brainstorming activity of different aspects.
But no one knew.
Cant blame them.
He wasnt the type who'd share.
Blardy asrhole he said to himself.


And sometimes, even when the body breaksdown, the mind says no.
It was no wonder it was so hard to get well.
its been almost 2 weeks.
2 weeks of sickness.
The body has had enough.
It was time to puke.
ANd he never liked the taste of ink.
All he ever wanted was to have someone to support him.
Like they say, u cant have it all.
Then why should he give everything?
Why make them all happy?
He said it too,
WHy so serious.
because in life, u can only give up once.
And that had already happen.

Enough is enough,
"FUck its time to sleep u shithead."

and thats all i keep hearing till darkness comes.
hello bed.
Im just gonna sleep with the fucking notes. all around.

WEll...its hari raya again.
For some particular reason , i dont really look forward to raya .
Cause dad nad bro had to work. ANd we could only go out in the afternoon. Which was 5pm.
Goodness...
Favourite cousins is celebrating raya kat kuala lumpur. SO yeap. Not much houses to go on the 1st day.
And im the only one who wears the songkok in the family. And also to the raya prayers. This year, also no samping. Just a simple one piece suit.
This raya ia almost the same i guess. As usual, lots of tears were shed during the forgiving session. Well, raya will be much more fun when its time to go out with friends. Wohooo!


Its 5am and im blogging...
Why?
Cause i have turned nocturnal.
Like seriously.
9 days of no work.
It was during the fasting period.
So i would like sleep the whole day cause of medications.
Can start to be wide awake from 7pm to 6am.

SHIT.
I have to change this cycle.
Im going to work soon.
And yesterday, i slept for like an hour.
And i cudnt sleep anymore.
SO today, i shall force myself awake.
TO THE GYM!!!!
wohhoooo.
And evening maybe morning run too.
Take a noon powernap.
Well, tats werk for me.

I so so so need to pick up running again.
A whole freaking week of no run n gym.
Tats bad. relli bad.
Ive lost abit of muscle.
And of course, the tummy is rounder than usual.
And...did you know 35% of men said OCTOBER is the laziest month for them.
According to some study lah. A few thousand participants actually.
I aint gona part of it.
So yeap, Its time to keep fit once again. Wohhooo.

And babe.
im glad ure back.
And its the time of the month where it feels more special huh.
LIke kinda have this excitement in me. More than usual lah.
I so cant wait to go out with you again.
And raya outing too...Wohooo!

18 more days to school start = i cant wait.
13 more days to track and field meet = die!! havent train.
15 more days to anniversary = Not gonna tell ya where we are going.
MAybe 10 more days to jalan2 raya with friends. = i said maybe.

Okthen...
its nearly subuh.
And i have to get ready for work.
I hope its a usual day at work. No xtra curriculum please.Not now.
I do miss my friends .
ANd wohooooo CAN EAT LuncH!!