Run Forest Run

argh

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:55:03 GMT

If there were days where u could took back and change, itd be today.
U see the problem with me is i tend to be an arse at times.
I know i wasnt suppose to but i still did.
I know she didnt deserve it but i still did.
Fcuk me. yeah.

True enough.
So what if im effing busy with exam revision and work.
I do not have the right to be insensitive and selfish.
I do not have the right to think only of myself.
So what if this is the 1st time im coping with so many things.
My dearest, i noe i havent been goodie to you.
Yeah, being easily frustrated and fed up like that.
Fcuk u shudnt be treated in such a way.

And they say its all about balance.
I goota start being a yes man again.
So this is an public apology to u.
i admit.
I havent been a good bf to you.
Im sorry.
And thats all i can say.
I cant turn back time.
What i can do is change.

Till then.
Damn taste of ink.

day to day

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:23:49 GMT

OK.

So my lappie died on me.
nt the lappie.
The ac adaptor
Which means i need to find a new ac adapter.
freakin benq.

Just when imabout to transit to another new laptop soon, this just had to happen.
Well, i guess i need to buy an adaptor, but an external hard drive or borrow honey's, save all necesarry files. clear out the old laptop. and prepare to scrap it it. yeah. all by 2009.

now im using my brothers laptop.
Thank goodness he's not selfish.
To tink of it, he's never selfish .

well, i got my ipod finaly werking.
itunes bla2.
so finally crossing over abit to the mac side.
im amazed by the quality in terms of sound and design of apple.
its far different.
Im a sony user.
well audio wise, apple rocks. Sony is trailing behind slighty.
some say its the other way round.

And i got my nikeplus shoes and sensors!
Wohhho!
i cant wait to try it on soon.
Now im waiting for my phiten to arrive via air mail.

i guess most of the shoping i did this month wAS online.
Things left todo
1) complete sch assignment
2)run and keep fit coz i got just bought 10lbs of protein
3) revise coz exams is less than a month away
4)a report on the attachment im doing
5) a physical revision on sum skills at werk coz assesment is coming
6) transit of data from old lappie

as soon as ur todo lists ends each week/month,
a new cycle develops.

yeah..
i guess people are busy in their own way.
Life change eversince i start studies.
yes, im sacrificing alot of time, effort, rest , bla bla bla.
it aint easy though its part time.
especially if u hava full time job thats physically demamnding.
Well, i just hpe the exams go well.
8 months to graduation.

If things go well and degree shall be the next step.
i guess being bz is all about balance.
i mean u gota have time to do ur own tings.
frm totally slack and dun giv shit to anything to eating whatever u want and spending a day alone hiking or running.

U gota reward urself with things befor u go mad and get sick.
maybe its just a matter ot getting use to.
Its hard honestly.
I cant explain it.
people define hardship differently u know.

I mean u got ur parents, siblings, family isssues etc.
BGR issues and commitment.
School commitment.
Work commitment.
and ur personal goals.

i tell u this.
its hard.
im not saying its imposibble.
i guess it justs takes time.

till then, i shall blog again when i feel like it.
love u dear.
tinking of u always inspite of the other obligations.

blues

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 17:10:26 GMT

i nid to relax.

i want a day to be my day.

things are chaotic.

and i get all so stressed up before i sleep.

coz deres so many things todo and worry about.

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:09:26 GMT

And so he felt like puking.
yeah.
tat was it.
He finally reach his threshold limit.
Time to stop.
Tats enough brain juice for a 20 hr day.

He knew that he was merely a production of failure.
Failure in studies, failure in relationships, failure at work, failure in fitness...bla bla bla. U name it. He knew tat taste. That sweet bitter symphony tat lingers at the back of his throat.

Who could blame him now.
Trying to pick everything up.
He got it all.
And he's trying all he can.
He tries to ace his grades, make the family happy, nourish his partner, getting a gd appraisal at work and breaking a sweat like never before.
Amazingly, it all happen in a single day.
U see,
he is a man of high aspirations.
And sometimes he doesnt know his limits till he breaks down.
It wasnt just the physical fitness, his mind is constantly engaging in an brainstorming activity of different aspects.
But no one knew.
Cant blame them.
He wasnt the type who'd share.
Blardy asrhole he said to himself.

And sometimes, even when the body breaksdown, the mind says no.
It was no wonder it was so hard to get well.
its been almost 2 weeks.
2 weeks of sickness.
The body has had enough.
It was time to puke.
ANd he never liked the taste of ink.
All he ever wanted was to have someone to support him.
Like they say, u cant have it all.
Then why should he give everything?
Why make them all happy?
He said it too,
WHy so serious.
because in life, u can only give up once.
And that had already happen.

Enough is enough,
"FUck its time to sleep u shithead."

and thats all i keep hearing till darkness comes.
hello bed.
Im just gonna sleep with the fucking notes. all around.

Selamat hari raya.

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 21:13:43 GMT

WEll...its hari raya again.
For some particular reason , i dont really look forward to raya .
Cause dad nad bro had to work. ANd we could only go out in the afternoon. Which was 5pm.
Goodness...
Favourite cousins is celebrating raya kat kuala lumpur. SO yeap. Not much houses to go on the 1st day.
And im the only one who wears the songkok in the family. And also to the raya prayers. This year, also no samping. Just a simple one piece suit.
This raya ia almost the same i guess. As usual, lots of tears were shed during the forgiving session. Well, raya will be much more fun when its time to go out with friends. Wohooo!

Its 5am and im blogging...
Why?
Cause i have turned nocturnal.
Like seriously.
9 days of no work.
It was during the fasting period.
So i would like sleep the whole day cause of medications.
Can start to be wide awake from 7pm to 6am.

SHIT.
I have to change this cycle.
Im going to work soon.
And yesterday, i slept for like an hour.
And i cudnt sleep anymore.
SO today, i shall force myself awake.
TO THE GYM!!!!
wohhoooo.
And evening maybe morning run too.
Take a noon powernap.
Well, tats werk for me.

I so so so need to pick up running again.
A whole freaking week of no run n gym.
Tats bad. relli bad.
Ive lost abit of muscle.
And of course, the tummy is rounder than usual.
And...did you know 35% of men said OCTOBER is the laziest month for them.
According to some study lah. A few thousand participants actually.
I aint gona part of it.
So yeap, Its time to keep fit once again. Wohhooo.

And babe.
im glad ure back.
And its the time of the month where it feels more special huh.
LIke kinda have this excitement in me. More than usual lah.
I so cant wait to go out with you again.
And raya outing too...Wohooo!

18 more days to school start = i cant wait.
13 more days to track and field meet = die!! havent train.
15 more days to anniversary = Not gonna tell ya where we are going.
MAybe 10 more days to jalan2 raya with friends. = i said maybe.

Okthen...
its nearly subuh.
And i have to get ready for work.
I hope its a usual day at work. No xtra curriculum please.Not now.
I do miss my friends .
ANd wohooooo CAN EAT LuncH!!

Boredom

Sun, 28 Sep 2008 15:01:10 GMT

Simple
10 days
rot at home
Feel like shit.
Give me back my busy days.

Compassion?

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 06:21:15 GMT

Kudos to the recent assessment .
Chances of getting that score for a newbie....10%.
NOw to maintain and sharpen the skills each and every year.
phew....

Sumtimes u cant let compassion or sympathy get in ur way.
Its ur job.
But still, u cant be cruel.
Just firm.
Whatever it is, we as human beings...
Its orthodox to have such rational behaviour.
Well, the law has to be preserved.

Its been 1yr 6 months since i don the blue.
Almost a year in red.
And im still continously being upgraded and learning skills.
yeap.
Fitness too. I guess it is quite a non stop learning journey.
Somehow i cant be easily contented.
Not that im filled with greed.

Ephiphany is, we can all do better.
Till then.

Honour as a way of life.

RUn forest Run

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 03:15:19 GMT

Ok.
Daddy was a frequent runner till his 30's.
His son?

Ok..so i didnt run much in my younger days. Instead spent my days in the gym .
The result, great strength lousy runner. Seriously . ok lah, compared to normal people dah cukup bagus lah. But Compared to atheletes and professionals? lousy.
Almost a year ago i was a lousy runner.
Cudnt even do more than 5km.
last 3 months did my first 10km.
Den my first 7km with weights.
And nw, 10km is comfy.
12km is abit pain in the arse.

This 24th august 2008. Singapore half marathon.
FYi, a marathon is 42km. Half marathon is 21km.
Yeap, my very first half marathon.
Finally dere.
aiming for 2hrs 20mins.
Am i ready? no.
Thats the great part. Coz the last haf hr is purely gruelling and mental endurance. Body probably broke down in pieces by then.

But to think of, ive come a long long way. From nuting to sumting. I brought home 2 medals frm running, 2 frm dragonboat in a span of a year. my 3rd is coming soon. probably werk my way up till i can run the standard chartered marathon end of next year. It takes at least 9 months of training to condition the body to handle a marathon. Then i'll work on my swmming. Coz one of my dreams is to complete a 70.3 iroman triathlon. That will be in 3 years time i hope.
Ceh, berangan banyak.

Train and keep fit nw, coz when ure older u will reap the benefits. Provided dun get injured lah.

Ok den. Just updating coz dear is getting ready to go out. till then, Keep fit people.
ok. tis is the route for the 21 km.
Believe it. esplanade to east coast and back to the padang.

Quests

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:35:22 GMT

So yah. ure almost 21 dude.

hez..
So much todo so little time.
Gona be realli bz this 2 months.
I just worried with regards to physical training in the fasting month. cant push myself too hard. But, i'll be on course the the 17th. yes dear, the 17th.
19th bb going to jkt. I'll be super bored.
Probably spent my nites at terawaih or run and gym etc.

2 more days and i have my shoot test. argh. dear god please make me do well. Its $$$ for the whole year. and recently did the 3x test. ok lah. b graded. not an A yet. kudos to full marks in pull ups. 20 liao. yeah. personal best. I need to focus on faster heart rate running . Sure i can mileage. But 3.2km in 14mins. need to work on interval running soon. But fasting is soon. ohwell, we'll see how things go.

Most probably will pick up studies next yaer. a 1 year dip. why not. Star? maybe the following year. Im not at that fitness stage yet. Overall work has been fine. Nutin much to complain about. Just courses to attend and future deployments coz f1 is nearby.

Im really gonna miss you once u go off. its sad knowing that before you do, i'll be bz having courses to attend. I will dedicate my weekends to you. and sum nights, i will break fast at ur place so that i get to spent time with u a lil bit more.

For now, i cant wait to get a haircut and for the wound on my moustache area to heal. argh.
and there are absolutely no movies on the cinema worth going too. tat means i will not splurge thiss month. spent too much last month. Just the tix for the fireworks festival and bb's book. need to save up for nxt years studies . Stuff will be brighter next year i hope.

NDp this year sucks. Even the parade segment like got no kick like tat. Gone were the days of the padang and stadium. I miss marching for ndp. Its an experience u cant describe. Beijing olympic opening was superb. 2 thumbs up. The best ive seen so far. Whatcha expect 6 billion bucks budget. amazing. Ok. time togo for a run. Will post again prob...................next month. till then. u people tc. and dear, i miss you.

Limits

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:39:49 GMT

Ok. Maybe im obssesed. Maybe im not.
Fact is, ive been exposed to extraordinary human beings who enjoy good health till their 50s and can easily outrun any 20yr old.

The best moments of my life ..........
Besides being in love and having a wonderful lady to share my life with,

is the feeling of accomplishment. The satisfaction after some grueling exercise regime or training. Nothing can beat such moments.

I can still taste the pain during the damn 10km run.
Sure 1hr is not much of a long duration. But u have no idea the millions of thoughts that run thru ur head in just a short hour. U can relive ur life in an hour. Then u curse and swear urself. den u tink of ur love ones. Then u tink of ur shitty past and problems u have. Then u wonder again why oh why did i do this. Den u wanna give up. den u dont. Then u realise that u torture urself voluntarily and u can quit anitime u want.
After all the shit u can tink of, it starts to rewind all over again.
And when the race is over..

U realise sumtin.
that u do it not because u love the pain. Nor do u really wana keep fit.
U just want to noe that u can do better.
U can be better.
Then u tell urself why stop here?
Simple.

Such thoughts always cross my mind almost most of the time when i voluntarily push myself.
its addictive. hey, im still young man. I dun wanna regret not making most of my physical capabilities. of course human have limits. i jush wanna push it.

aniways, been very2 bz past few weeks. nak update LJ pun ader malas sikit.Yeah,it always feels good to write.
Ohwell, gtg. nutin much to yak about aniway. And to you my love, missisng u loads. the weird thing is, doesnt matter how much time we spent with each other, i still miss u sumhow.
Ure the greatest. tata.

Current affairs

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:21:48 GMT

Why not?
Obama has won the democrats nominee for the presidential run. Tats good. Somehow rather i knew he would win. ok ok . i support tat dude. The new policies he brought up, ok, might not be great for the economy as compared to hillary clinton but still, he won. why. Coz he believe in change.
So he's up against the repubicans nominee John Mccain. Who will the next president of us. Months to go. yeah, and im a singaporean that is somehow interested in the us.
Well, the us economy actually. The us dollar is what concerns me.

Sarah connar chronicles.
well, yes, im a huge fan of the terminator thingy. yes....arnold is my idol bla bla bla. but this series is awesome. Finally get to watch the 1st episode. Wtf. It premiered in Foxtv early this year and i only watched it noW???? i remembered i was one of the first human beings to watch T3.
Aniway, the new terminator, cameron. real actress name, Summer Glau. Ders just sumtin bout that kinda innocent face huh. But, kinda quite bland. The role she played in the series, superb. A female rendition of the protector of john connor. Veeryy well done. ok. till the next episode then. prolly get the whole damn series on dvd. What can i say, yes, im a terminator fanatic.
She even said the famous line " come with me if u wanna live" SWEET!

Sleepovers.
hmmmmm.
wat can i say...havent been staying home much lately. been at sweeties place and werk. Sweetie is so so so so sweet ( Its my journal so i can say sweet as much as i want ). u noe like cook breakfast and dinner and stuff like tat. Im like woooooooah lah. And she cleans the house , do the laundry. wakes me up. puts me to sleep. awwwwwwwwwwww. sweeeeet kan.
So nxt week prolly take sweetie out to the zoo and much more dvd more stuff. We go watch kung fu panda, Caspian and hancock aight sweetie. Till then, it's gonna my turn to cook for u soon.

Work with a pinch of salt.
Shit sumhow comes no matter how right u do ur job. Politics is a pasttime for some people. But sumhow, retribution do happen to bad bad people. Great ting is, i dun have to get my revenge, things just happen. So yeah, i guess it pays to be positive and leave no hatred.

Saucony passion run 2008.
My very 1st competitive run. 10km . ok, i just wana run thru it, aint gonna wack Myself for my Personal best timing. Been training hard. Like seriously hard. Cant wait for it. Its gonna be a test of cardiovascular endurance and respiratory capacity. Lets see if all my personal training is worthwhile. And enjoy the run. Always enjoy training and exercising. Like i always say, take care of your body, and it will take care of u. Serious, i know of 45 yr old man who has a solid bod of a 22yr old model. no joke. Healthy summore. Fitter den me summore. Prolly update the journal regarding my run this sunday.

Ok, shall not crap more. Sweetie is waiting for me . Till then kudos to all.
Truth justice honour glory.

MKPL

Mon, 26 May 2008 14:02:30 GMT

Uploading pics is such a MKPL.
Photobucket BAcen.
Must use IE. My ie is full of crap. Freaking slow. Spam here and der. And tu lah tengok porn banyak2 lah. MKPL.

Ok. So for the first time, a major prob arises at werk. Freaking irritating. gave me a headache. Take it positively lah. watodo.

Went to the gym after so so so long. Been running too much maybe. Lifting weights again is so refreshing. But the recovery days are such a bitch. Been eating and eating and eating. Body craving for nutrients and calories. It wants to grow. Yeah, so does my tummy.

I really do love my job. It seriously takes me to places in the country . Weird places at weird times. Most of time, familiar places . But being at such places with a different mindset. The way public view me. I love tat feeling. That feeling of responsibility. I aint much of a patriot, but i will protect my loved ones and my country. HeY! im serious K!

so one more day! and baby.......we shall be together as one. muahahaha. so many tings todo...i cant wait. I cant wait to cook for u again. clean ur house. bla bla bla.

I cant wait for june though. May days suck. Good buddies are enlisting for national service in june. sucks tough. Im done with my service. Leaving me behind. At least for a few months till we get to camp out together again. Nasib baik ader juliet.

ohwell.. i crap alot here huh. Gona eat and dvd my way to slp as usual. till the next entry.
U people ( although i noe only 2 peeps will read my crap ) , have fun and tc of urselfs.

Honey, love u. Muacks.

Why so serious?

Fri, 23 May 2008 16:31:03 GMT

Dont we all love villains?
Any of u seen the latest rendition of joker?
Ok fine. So u arent a batman fan huh.
SO i was bored and i loved joker btw. SO why not huh. Just for the fun of it splash sum powder and grab a lipstick. Had a couple of good shoots.

Ok. next month. Batman : The Dark Knight, will be out.
U remember batman begins 3 years ago where the remade everything? so its the sequel lah.
And they remade joker. And by far, its the best joker i have ever seen. Who acted him?
The late heath ledger... sad huh. It was his last movie. When u actually see him playing this role, then u'll understand joker as himself. Its disturbing. seriously. Okay and according to the producer, the late heath ledger actually lcked himself up in the room for a few weeks, make up himself, turned a lil bit loonu just for this role. SO i guess while shooting the film, he actually somehow became the joker himself. The things actors actually do.

So it will be out soon. Hope the movie aint a dissapoinment. So baby, I'll drag u to watch it in the opening day itself. Muacks.

Oh, any of u outdere, i need help with this l.j thingy. How The Fcuk u post multiple Pics? photobucket sucks.

Maiden Voyage

Fri, 23 May 2008 14:01:12 GMT

Kudos to the launch of a new journal.
Soon i shall close down my blogspot which has served me well over the past 4 years and hundreds of entry. So why L.J? i guess its easier to reach out to people and of course to that special sumone. So tell me what u think yah of this journal. And it may take some time to get it running smoothly.

Desert rose is actually a song by sting in 1999. Was a hit single and it was inspired by a novel "DUNE" during the 80s. A bloody hell long story so i shant rant about it here.Just the captivating lyrics have a sense of connection to me. ah, enuf.

On that evolving bod of mine is actually the lyrics of the song if u can read it.
So i shall use this space to write again. Poems, philosophies, debates and bla bla bla. I miss those stuff.

Till then,

Kudos to all.